Nicky’s Story

I always thought I had many years before I had to worry about mammograms, self-checks, and anything cancer related.  In fact the week before I was diagnosed I was having a conversation with my mum about how lucky our family was to not be affected by cancer at all.  

I was only 38.  I have 3 beautiful sons, and my youngest was only 20 months.  I randomly felt a lump in my left breast and I think I knew instinctively that it was not going to be good news.  Within two days I’d had a mammogram and an ultrasound, and I am so very grateful that my GP felt my urgency and organised everything for me.  After a week I got the devastating news that it was definitely cancer and unfortunately it had spread to my lymph nodes in my arm pit.  

Over the next 6 months I had my chemotherapy, I then opted for a mastectomy, finishing up with radiation.  After 10 months I was finished formal treatment and started 5 years of tablets to maintain my remission.  

Early into my treatment a good friend sent to me a little piece of paper with a quote that spoke to my soul.  My friend was sending me ‘quiet courage’ ….

‘I wish you so much but most of all I wish you courage.  

Not battle bravery, but the quiet courage that endures, survives, and never loses hope.

The courage that will sustain you through every darkness.

The courage that will give strength to others.

The courage that will turn what seems defeat into victory.’

I was already mustering my courage, but this was encouraging me to slow down, to rest when I needed and use the quiet times to gather my strength.  I didn’t need to be busy to be winning at life.  It was refreshing when everyone just felt that cancer was a battle that needed to be fought and won.  It was exhausting always feeling like I had to be on the offensive at all times, and somehow feeling like a failure if I ever took a day off from the fight!  

Your treatment is a marathon, not a sprint.  It’s a physically taxing time, but it can also be a time of great self-reflection.  This period of self discovery will continue on long after your treatment is finished, and for me this, along with creating Soul Sisters Unite, is how I have turned my own negative experience into a positive.  

Sending Quiet Courage to all those who need it right now.  May you all go on your own journey of self-discovery and find your own little victories along the way.

Nicky xxx